


aegis works at taco bell

by Sorunort



Category: Tales of Crestoria
Genre: Gen, this entire thing is a joke just like my life, various musical references because im a shit for brains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26830762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorunort/pseuds/Sorunort
Summary: aegis is the manager of taco bell and vicious shows up to drink all the baja blast. rated T for strong language the repeated use of bitch and fuck
Relationships: Aegis Alver/Vicious
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> u ever wanted to see aegis alver work at taco bell? no? well here you go. youre welcome ;)

Aegis alver was manager of the BEST taco bell at the mall. Some might even say the best taco bell in the tri-state area. He was noly 18 and clibmed to management position within like the first day. His co-worker victor, yknow for tox2 i think i didnt play the game, was always in awe of his incredible management skills. Like spongebob getting to be manager of thenkrustykrab in the spongebob musical, it was Amazing.

But he had an arch nemesis, like mr krabs and plankton in the spongebob musical, two arch nemesisiss locke din a fast food cold war. Except the cold war was just one dudes void of a stomach and their mtn dew sto9res. Yeah thats right you know whats coming.

Aegis was wiping down the counter int he middle fot he lunch rush when a hand smacked down in front of him. Aegis recognized thaet fist anywhere, usually gribbing the baja blast cups with intensitiy. Their eyes met and aegis growled, “vicious”

“Aegis.’ vicious said back, staring him down withhis amethyst orbs (yeah THIS IS HOW IT FEELS PROSE WRITERS, PLEASE JUST SAY EYES IM BEGGING YOU)

“How can i help u” aegis said thru grit teeth, awaiting his impending doom.

“Oh you KNOW what im here for,” vicious replied smugly in that stupid way he does. God i love him i wanna punch him into next week.

Aegis groaned and looked back at his co-worker victor, yknow form tox2, who was watching the encounter with awe and stuff. “Ready the big gulp.’

“Mr manager sir,’said victor, yknowfrom tox2, “thats only at wawa”

“WHAT i told youto go steal from them yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!” aegis bellowed, ignoring vicious’s impatient thumb tapping on the coutnettop he just wiped down. Look at him, spreading his grerms, utterly disgusting. I hate this man. “Our drink sizes dont accomadte his endless thirst!!!!!”

“Haha thirst” 

“Shut the fuck UP vicious”

“Youre both IDIOTS” he said, sneering, cause thats just how he is “the big gulp isnt at WAWA you DUMBASS its at SEVEN 11” vicious knew this because he listened to heathers one time and learned this from the iconic song freeze your brain. ‘Theres a lot of musical references in this’ i hear you saying and to that i say: stream hadestown.

Anyway aegis didnt wanna get told by his arch enemy so he bit his lip, out of frustration and not because he was thinking about kissing vicious haha whata re you?GAY?, and tried to level with the bastard. “What size drink do you want, bitch”

“Aint nice to call your customers a bitch aegis but since you asked so nicely ill just take every large you have.”

“EVERY?” aegis was FLABBERGASTED “BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE REST OF THE CUSTOMERS WHO ORDERS A LARGE DRINK???”

“You tell em you dont have any its not rocket science how the FUCK did you get to be manager”

Oh HELL no vicious was NOT gonna bring his prized manager spot into this. Aegis punched in like 100 large baja blasts into the cashier and stared him down defiantly. “Thatll be $269 dollars, blease”

Vicious felt around his annoyingly tight fitting pants-okay maybe aegis is a little gay- for the cash monies and then shrugged like ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ “well shit.”

“You cant pay. Can you.” aegis, and i the writer (not author thats too generous), hated him.

“Nah just hold my order. When i get back there better be 100 baja blasts with my name on em!” vicious did a lil fingerguns because he didnt have real guns on him he left them at home, which is probably a garbage can, and walked away in his stupid thigh high boots. He may be bastard but he is a fashion icon we have no choice but to stan :pensive:

So aegis did exactly that and held the order and then the lunch rush kicked in and he kinda forgot about vicious. Yknow that feel where like if somethings not in front of you you forget abou it?? Yeah thats whats happening here. Does aegis is adhd? We’ll see!:) he and victor, yknow from tox2, held down the fort, the taco bell fort, and the mall was gonna close soon so they had to get out before they got locked in like they did to asbel who works at hot topic did once. They locked him in so he went to claires and pierced his ears and he hasnt been thesame since. F in the chat for asbel, now hes a goth. 

But aegis wasnt about to beceome a goth! He was a prep, and the prep life suited him just fine thanks.Five minutes left of the clock, he could punch out and make it with just enough time to make it to (k)night school (HAHA GET IT SICK PUN ON KNIGHT RIGHT oh i am so funny) when suddenly the clicking heel of thigh high boots came closer and closer until

“HEY i dont see those baja blasts with my name on em! >:(“ 

VICIOUS WAS BACK and aegis wanted to SCREAM god rly had it out for him, he legally couldnt leave customer service mode for another five minutes. “HOW. MAY. I. HELP. YOU.”

“Do we really hafta do this again ive said baja blast like three times now oh my god” vicious rolledhis eyes and dropped a wad of cash on the counter. “You got yer money now gimme the goods bitch”

Aegis stared at the wad like his brain fizzled out and BSOD. “you didnt have money earlier where the fuck did you get this”

He coulda sworn his eyes glowed red for a hot second like in the crestoria animation trailer but also like the begone thot meme. “You Don’t Need To Know.”

Ominous. Maybe aegis didnt need to know where or how vicious suddenly acquired enough money to buy every single baja blast. So he slapped the money into the register but there was way too more than $269 money dollars. “Dude you overpaid”

Vicious shrugged.money meant nothing to him and he liked to throw it around like elon musk except thats why vicious was broke. “Guessu gotta gimme more baja blast then”

Absolute fucking moron. Hate him. Aegis pocketedthe rest of the money to pay fo his (k)night school tuition since college is such a fucking scam i hate it just stop going until we figure out what the fuck a college is and then turned to victor, yknow form tox2. A bead of sweat dripped down his head. It was time…………..for the baja-ening.

And then they basically flew around the kitchen going thru their baja blast stores and throwing the bottles at vicious. Nobody saw him drink tho they just yeeted the mtn dew at him and then it vanished int he blink of an eye. What the fuck IS vicious i need to know but crestoria wont tell me. Suppertime from lsoh could be heard playing in the distance for thematic jokes. Feed me aegismour.

Eventually they ran outta baja blast with one minute left to clock out. Vicious did the fignerguns again and said “THANKS BABE ILL SEE YOU SAME TIME TOMORROW SWEETHEART”cause for some reason everyone in the vicious/aegis tag really likes writing vicious saying sweetheart AND babe. And then he walked away leaving no trace of baja blast carnage behind.

Aegis heaved a long sigh of relief. He and victor, yknow from tox2, could finally punch out and go home……………… except…………….. No. NO. vicious fucked with the clock by one minute. They were officially locked inside the mall. Aegis cried out “DAMNYOU VICIOUSSSSSSS” like its a cartoon or something and collapsed to his knees. Tonight, he would get his ears pierced in claires with victor, yknow from tox2.

The end(?)


	2. super secret employee only break room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vicious and aegis makeout in the super secret employee only breakroom in the mall and thats about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for alcohol addiciton mention i guess, crestoria may call vicious a 'drunkard' but i know the truth

“I dont think pierced ears are really my thing,” aegis lamented to his coworker victor, yknow from tox2, who was marveling at aegis’s very cool new earrings that looked like lio fotias from promare (promare was victor, yknow from tox2, fave movie). “But it is a rite of passage for being locked in the mall after hours………….”

They were back on the clock at taco bell-where else would they would At the Docks?? Haha this joke is only funny to katt-but it was a slow day...noboyd in the mall felt like ringing the bell of taco. Prob for the best the food kinda sucks i say as ive never had it idont eat tacos but i do rmr being like 6yo and hearing about a big food poisoning scandal and thats all i need to know. Anyway point is they got like nobody buying their fuckin food so aegis and victor,yknow from tox, are chilling discussiogn their night trapped in the mall together last night.

Victor,yknow from tox2, opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a customer and also by Me because i didnt play his game and dunno how to write him. Which rly shouldnt matter in a crackfic but i decided it matters now.

“HEY AEGIS love the new earrings :)” it was none other than vicious crestoria!

“YOU” said aegis, somehow channeling the exact energy of the WHO KNOCKED OVER MY ONIONS. YOU. meme 

“You know it babe,” said vicious said and winked and aegis was THis close to punching him out. With his mouth. On his mouth.

“GO AWAY we dont have anymore baja blast!” aegis groweld cause hes a catboy/bunnyboy but bunnies dont growl do they?idk ive never owned a bunny Leave a comment below if they do :) “we didnt get restocked so youve no business here.”

Hearing about the lack of his precious delicioues mtn dew baja goodness vicious seemed to lose like 50% of his power but he could get 50% of it back by making fun of aegis so he wasnt rly worried about it. “Well shit guess i gotta go find some alcohol then”

“Have.have you been drinking baja blast to stave off your alcohol addiction?” aegis gaped like :0?

Vicious did the shyhands emoji pose and said “mmmmaaaaaybe Whata re you a cop??”

“Fuck no acab babey”

“Acab!” said victor, yknow from tox2, just trying to contribute to this conversation and feel like hes wanted.

He was not. “Shut up and get back in yuor kitchen” said aegis from the iconic leia poliiwgle event in tales of crestoria. Vicitor,yknow from tox2, frowned and went back into the kitchen to like stare into the fryers or something idk.

“If theres no baja blast and u dont want me boozing it up i know something else we could do” said vicious with a winky face so you know he means business. And not your average taco bell kinda business. Im talkin the sexie kind (BUT NOT TOO SEXIE im a holy sister of the church)

Aegis, absolutely BEFUDDLED and BEMUSED, just stared at this stupid dumb as a rock fuckhead in front of him. Did he?did he SERIOUSLY think that after consuming their entire baja blast stores and messing with the clock so hed be trapped in the mall after dark and get his ears pierced and miss his (k)night school he would ACTUALLY go makeout with him??? Did he REALLY think that???

Cause he was absolutely correct. stupid sexy vicious.

Aegis sighed deeply and threw his taco bell visor off into the kitchen. It fell into the fryer victor,yknow from tox2, was staring into like it was the void or the abyss (Not to be mistaken with tales of the abyss). “VICTOR FROM TOX2 IM GOING ON MY BREAK SEE YOU IN 15 MINUTES”

“You sure u dont wanna take your lunch break” 

“What makes u sya that”

“Idk doesnt making out take longer than 15 minutes?”

“Jesus Christ dude who are you kissing that it takes an entire lunch break???”

And victor,yknow from tox2, did a fingerguns and aegis decided to leave.

Aegis and vicious ran off to the super secret employees only break room in the mall and nobody else was there because i dont want to write any more tales characters right now. Everyone else is just not taking break at this moment thats all there is to it okay?okay. 

Vicious did like a kabedon thing and went in for a kiss but aegis was like “WAIT theres something u gotta know first”

Vicious did the :/ cause hes impatient and just really wants to kiss the pretty boy. “WHAT could be so goddamn important it has to wait before we swap spit”

“Okay one1. Gross. Two2. im trans genner”

“WHAT…….youre trans genner……. Thats so cool…….. Im none binery”

“Like you dont have any binery?”

“Yeah sure”

“Thats so poggers”

And then they kissed and rean their fingers thru each others hair and all that jazz and it was really cool it was SO COOL aegis forgot he was a lowly taco bell employee and vicious gave him a wad of cash to pay for baja blast and (k)night school the night before. Reality melted away and all that mattered was the heat between them…..wow that actually sounded like a real line from one of the 30ish fics about them in this tag for a second there. Oh god i gotta add more stupidity to balance it out

Eventually 15 minutes passed and they stopped kissimg just in time before another mall employee walked in for his break! It was absel lhant! The OG ear piercer! Hot topic employee! He looked at aegis and said “hey aegis! Whos your friend!” cause hes asbel lhant and he makes friends hes such a good lad

Aegis looked to asbel to vicious then the ground then back to asbel “hes not my friend, i just like to makeout with him” he said with every ounce of truth. Finally………..hes owning his sin

“Damn straight” said vicious whi0ch is funny bc hes not

Asbel nodded in understandimg except he didnt really understand because he wa sin a happy loving relationship with richard who had a real job not at the mall so hes officially the breadwinner. “Makes sense!” he didnt even think if he was interupting bc hes kinda dense but its okay we love him anyway.

“I gotta go back to work now,” aegis said and tried 2 leave but vicious grabbed his wrist

“ babe when will i see u again”

“I work at taco bell you know where and when to see me”

“But like………...for a mouth date”

Aegis stared long and hard(haha) at vicious contemplating if he wanted to make this a regular thing. Asbel was kinda half watcing this whole thing go down bc it was currently the most exciting thing in the breakroom rn. 

Eventually aegis groaned and threw one arm up exasperated “GOD FINE OKAY pick me up after work DO NOT fucking touch the clocks again or i WILL cut off all your hair”

“NOT MY OMBRE I WORK REALLY HARD ON THAT!!!!!!!!!”

“Yeah it looks really good :D” said asbel. Maybe he would go get ombre after break. If any place would give u ombre in a mall its probably hot topic

“IF YOU VALUE YOUR OMBRE YOU WILL NOT FUCKING LOCK ME IN THE MALL AGAIN OKAY”

“:( even if its funny and you gotta get Another ear pierced?”

“Wait i gotta get ANOTHER piercing???” aegis looked to asbel, the og ear piercer, who brushed his hair aside to reveal 4 earrings and shrugged “thems the rules u get one piercing for each night u locked in”

“THESE ARE REALLY SHITTY RULES” AEGIS GROANED and stormed out of the super secret employees only break room and back to taco bell. Victor,yknow from tox2, never fished his visor out of the fryer so not only were they out of baja blast but aegis was missing a key compoenent of his prized manager uniform.

F in the chat for his prized manager position. Without the visor it would be lost. He wanted to scream Damn you vicious again except the only person to blame……………...was himself. 

Liek u i cri evry tiem

**Author's Note:**

> one day im gonna write a follow up detailing the adventures asbel lhant had locked in the mall that led him to piercing his ears in claires and unlocking his inner goth.


End file.
